"Yes, She's a Lying Sack of Shit....but She's our Lying Sack of Shit."
Once upon a time there was a lying sack of shit named Hillary. This sack of fecal debris was very rich and very powerful. Meaning, she could pretty much do whatever she wanted. Because she was Hillary. Her husband had been the president of the most powerful country in the world and was a real political animal, voracious and cruel, particularly towards his enemies.
The one thing that both Bill and Hillary understood, beyond anything else is, that if you’re rich and connected, there is nothing you can’t get away with. “Put the nation’s top secrets on your home server so they can easily be accessed by our enemies?” No problem. Because lying sacks of shit can always just lie.
Besides, lots of people thought she should be president. Why did they think this? Well, that’s what lemmings do. They follow the lead lemming and head for the cliff’s edge, flying off into space, smashing to bits on the rocks. They can only see the rocks, though, once they’re in flight. By then, it’s too late, as the blood and gore pile thick on the craggy outcrop below.
A few days earlier—before the FBI recommended that Hillary shouldn't be indicted—the head of the Justice Department, who is the highest law officer in the land met with Hillary’s husband, the former president, on a private plane. Apparently, this plane just happened to be sitting empty on the airport tarmac minding its own business.
“Wow! What a coincidence!” Said Loretta and Bill. “Can you imagine that?”
Neither was traveling on this plane, so it was real lucky it was there. By accident, I guess.
Now, under any other circumstance, this would be deeply troubling and probably illegal. But only for average people, who would then be shuttled off to jail like Public Enemy Numero Uno. This did not apply to any of those involved, however, because the law is for rubes and lightweights, not power players like the former president and the attorney general.
Just imagine that you’re accused of committing a crime and on trial for your life. Now, further, imagine that the prosecuting attorney is a very, very powerful, rich man. And, one day before the final verdict is to be delivered, this very powerful man meets privately with the judge in your case. Remember, this judge is supposed to be impartial, so you have some hope of getting a fair trial. That would be a parallel example.
“Hmm? So, what you’re saying is, that maybe there was something fishy going on in their secret meeting? But, what if it was completely innocent? Here are some other options that might be just as plausible.”
a. The former president and the current attorney general met for a mid-afternoon game of Crazy Eights.
b. They just lost their way and ended up at exactly the same place, on an empty plane, going nowhere, with the AC blasting so they could have a conversation about some recent Sasquatch photos they’d seen (being aficionados on the subject and all). And this happened by pure chance.
c. To figure out how to collude and get Hillary off, so she could go ahead and become president.
“I bet it was choice – B - so they could share their love of Sasquatch related material. Yes, that seems most reasonable.” Said the media. “This will show those republicans who's boss!” Never again will they doubt Hillary’s love of Bigfoot.”
And, with that, the media returned to scrounging through Donald Trump’s garbage, hoping to find something, anything that could help Hillary. Not because they favored Hillary. That wouldn’t be fair! No, they only were hoping that Trump had some Bigfoot photos to share, that’s all.
“Yeah. That sounds about right.” They said, as they snickered to themselves. “That sounds just about right.”
Mark Magula
The one thing that both Bill and Hillary understood, beyond anything else is, that if you’re rich and connected, there is nothing you can’t get away with. “Put the nation’s top secrets on your home server so they can easily be accessed by our enemies?” No problem. Because lying sacks of shit can always just lie.
Besides, lots of people thought she should be president. Why did they think this? Well, that’s what lemmings do. They follow the lead lemming and head for the cliff’s edge, flying off into space, smashing to bits on the rocks. They can only see the rocks, though, once they’re in flight. By then, it’s too late, as the blood and gore pile thick on the craggy outcrop below.
A few days earlier—before the FBI recommended that Hillary shouldn't be indicted—the head of the Justice Department, who is the highest law officer in the land met with Hillary’s husband, the former president, on a private plane. Apparently, this plane just happened to be sitting empty on the airport tarmac minding its own business.
“Wow! What a coincidence!” Said Loretta and Bill. “Can you imagine that?”
Neither was traveling on this plane, so it was real lucky it was there. By accident, I guess.
Now, under any other circumstance, this would be deeply troubling and probably illegal. But only for average people, who would then be shuttled off to jail like Public Enemy Numero Uno. This did not apply to any of those involved, however, because the law is for rubes and lightweights, not power players like the former president and the attorney general.
Just imagine that you’re accused of committing a crime and on trial for your life. Now, further, imagine that the prosecuting attorney is a very, very powerful, rich man. And, one day before the final verdict is to be delivered, this very powerful man meets privately with the judge in your case. Remember, this judge is supposed to be impartial, so you have some hope of getting a fair trial. That would be a parallel example.
“Hmm? So, what you’re saying is, that maybe there was something fishy going on in their secret meeting? But, what if it was completely innocent? Here are some other options that might be just as plausible.”
a. The former president and the current attorney general met for a mid-afternoon game of Crazy Eights.
b. They just lost their way and ended up at exactly the same place, on an empty plane, going nowhere, with the AC blasting so they could have a conversation about some recent Sasquatch photos they’d seen (being aficionados on the subject and all). And this happened by pure chance.
c. To figure out how to collude and get Hillary off, so she could go ahead and become president.
“I bet it was choice – B - so they could share their love of Sasquatch related material. Yes, that seems most reasonable.” Said the media. “This will show those republicans who's boss!” Never again will they doubt Hillary’s love of Bigfoot.”
And, with that, the media returned to scrounging through Donald Trump’s garbage, hoping to find something, anything that could help Hillary. Not because they favored Hillary. That wouldn’t be fair! No, they only were hoping that Trump had some Bigfoot photos to share, that’s all.
“Yeah. That sounds about right.” They said, as they snickered to themselves. “That sounds just about right.”
Mark Magula