A Tale of Wine and Murder
"One must listen to the music while reading this short tale of woe!"
He dropped to his knees like a man struck by lightening. It was swift and unmerciful. That’s when Captain Bouffant Allosaurus made his way to the front of the room, shambling as he walked, much the way a man might if he had been mummified centuries before.
“Just let me ask one question,” Captain Allosaurus said, as he brushed the lava from his eyes. “Make no mistake, the man in question is at least six feet ten inches tall, with a mustache as black as the heart of a lion. For dinner, he had an oversized bowl of Captain Crunch. You know? The peanut butter kind, which is really, really tasty! He then drank an old-school glass of sterno and whiskey, with some broken glass as a chaser. Vintage 1971...I think?
At that point the diamond had only been missing for ten hours. So the thief was probably still in the city. "If we’re lucky as hell?” He thought. He hoped. He wondered.
And, with that, the crowd dispersed, carrying locks of hair and a tuppence of gravy.
“At last! It’s over. Time to go home, where a tasty bowl of peanut butter Captain Crunch awaits me.” said Captain Allosaurus. At that sad moment his sidekick Sancho Panza shouted;
“Viva La Mexico! A man is but a donkey in this veil of tears!”
“ain’t it da truth Sancho….ain’t it da truth.” responded Captain Bouffant Allosaurus, in slowly a fading voice, fading ever dimmer, into the night, into slumber.
The End
Bust'a Crab
“Just let me ask one question,” Captain Allosaurus said, as he brushed the lava from his eyes. “Make no mistake, the man in question is at least six feet ten inches tall, with a mustache as black as the heart of a lion. For dinner, he had an oversized bowl of Captain Crunch. You know? The peanut butter kind, which is really, really tasty! He then drank an old-school glass of sterno and whiskey, with some broken glass as a chaser. Vintage 1971...I think?
At that point the diamond had only been missing for ten hours. So the thief was probably still in the city. "If we’re lucky as hell?” He thought. He hoped. He wondered.
And, with that, the crowd dispersed, carrying locks of hair and a tuppence of gravy.
“At last! It’s over. Time to go home, where a tasty bowl of peanut butter Captain Crunch awaits me.” said Captain Allosaurus. At that sad moment his sidekick Sancho Panza shouted;
“Viva La Mexico! A man is but a donkey in this veil of tears!”
“ain’t it da truth Sancho….ain’t it da truth.” responded Captain Bouffant Allosaurus, in slowly a fading voice, fading ever dimmer, into the night, into slumber.
The End
Bust'a Crab
