Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Talk About Slavery and Shit
"Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Talk About Slavery and Shit."
Rosencrantz: Man, you don’t know what it’s like to be Black!
Guildenstern: Sure I do. I’m a conservative. Plus, I’m White, and a man. I’m a triple minority.
Rosencrantz: Sheeit! That’s messed up. We’re you a slave?
Guidlenstern: No. And neither were you.
Rosencrantz: But my people were slaves.
Guildenstern: So were mine. Go back far enough and damned near everybody has some slavery in their background. Let’s be clear, you weren’t a slave. Your parents weren’t slaves. Your grandparents weren’t slaves. Not even your great-grandparents, unless they lived to be 110 or something. My grandparents came from Eastern Europe, to escape the communists, who were wiping out Slovaks. By the way, the word “Slovak” is where the word slave comes from. My people were the original slaves. Besides, it was “Your People,” who sold “Your ancestors” into slavery to the White man. You dig? Like, 98% of the Americans never owned slaves, so I don’t owe anybody shit!
Rosencrantz: Did your people live in ghettos? Did your people face discrimination?
Guildenstern: What? Hell yeah, they did! They lived in ghettos and were poorer than people living in ghettos today. There wasn’t no section 8 housing. No food stamps. No welfare. No free healthcare. Sheeit! There were barely even public schools, back in those days. No minimum wage, either. In fact, people from Eastern Europe were considered mentally inferior, low class, and criminals. You could be convicted of a crime based on the shape of your skull, whether you had bushy eyebrows—and, understand something, it was progressives who were practicing that shit. Not conservatives. It was Democrats who were all about Jim Crow and slavery. Not Republicans. Republicans were the anti-slavery party.
Rosencrantz: Man. I never heard any of that. I guess America was racist to everybody.
Guildenstern: You know what your problem is? You think some people are different, some people are better than others. Black vs White. Male vs Female. Hispanic vs whoever. Jews vs Gentile. Listen, brother! People are people—and people can be cruel—not because they’re Black or White, conservative or Liberal, but because they have the power to act out, to do evil, which is why America is different. Our constitution limits the power of the powerful. But even that, is just an attempt to limit what bad people, regardless of race, can do to one another. It’s also why the minute politicians say shit like; “Give us the power to fix things, we’re righteous.” you know they’re lying. All you’ll be doing is giving them the power to do what they want. And once they have the power, ain’t shit in history that leads me to believe they’ll use it righteously. So all that “America is evil bullshit,” is just bullshit! Compared to what? Not reality. That’s for sure. Not history. That’s why I say I’m a triple minority; White, male, and conservative. We’re the only people in America today, you can lie about, talk shit about, and won’t nobody say nothin’. I mean, is anybody trying to get to Botswana or Peru to live. Ain’t nobody trying to migrate to China, India, Saudi Arabia or Pakistan. But they’re trying to get here, to the good ole U.S.A., by the millions. Sheeit! By the billions, if we’d let all the people who want to come here, come here. Ain’t no mystery why either. People vote with their feet, with their blood and sweat to get here, by any means necessary. So, when you’re talking shit about America or White people, or the millions of dead soldiers, almost all of them White men, like they’re racist and America’s a hellhole, you’re just talkin’ out your ass. Don’t get me wrong, people of all colors helped make America. But, if you leave the central role White, male, Christians played in that process, you’re not only wrong, you’re flat-out lying. You dig?
Rosencrantz: Uh….uh…..uh?
Guildenstern: I thought so.
Bust'a Crab
Rosencrantz: Man, you don’t know what it’s like to be Black!
Guildenstern: Sure I do. I’m a conservative. Plus, I’m White, and a man. I’m a triple minority.
Rosencrantz: Sheeit! That’s messed up. We’re you a slave?
Guidlenstern: No. And neither were you.
Rosencrantz: But my people were slaves.
Guildenstern: So were mine. Go back far enough and damned near everybody has some slavery in their background. Let’s be clear, you weren’t a slave. Your parents weren’t slaves. Your grandparents weren’t slaves. Not even your great-grandparents, unless they lived to be 110 or something. My grandparents came from Eastern Europe, to escape the communists, who were wiping out Slovaks. By the way, the word “Slovak” is where the word slave comes from. My people were the original slaves. Besides, it was “Your People,” who sold “Your ancestors” into slavery to the White man. You dig? Like, 98% of the Americans never owned slaves, so I don’t owe anybody shit!
Rosencrantz: Did your people live in ghettos? Did your people face discrimination?
Guildenstern: What? Hell yeah, they did! They lived in ghettos and were poorer than people living in ghettos today. There wasn’t no section 8 housing. No food stamps. No welfare. No free healthcare. Sheeit! There were barely even public schools, back in those days. No minimum wage, either. In fact, people from Eastern Europe were considered mentally inferior, low class, and criminals. You could be convicted of a crime based on the shape of your skull, whether you had bushy eyebrows—and, understand something, it was progressives who were practicing that shit. Not conservatives. It was Democrats who were all about Jim Crow and slavery. Not Republicans. Republicans were the anti-slavery party.
Rosencrantz: Man. I never heard any of that. I guess America was racist to everybody.
Guildenstern: You know what your problem is? You think some people are different, some people are better than others. Black vs White. Male vs Female. Hispanic vs whoever. Jews vs Gentile. Listen, brother! People are people—and people can be cruel—not because they’re Black or White, conservative or Liberal, but because they have the power to act out, to do evil, which is why America is different. Our constitution limits the power of the powerful. But even that, is just an attempt to limit what bad people, regardless of race, can do to one another. It’s also why the minute politicians say shit like; “Give us the power to fix things, we’re righteous.” you know they’re lying. All you’ll be doing is giving them the power to do what they want. And once they have the power, ain’t shit in history that leads me to believe they’ll use it righteously. So all that “America is evil bullshit,” is just bullshit! Compared to what? Not reality. That’s for sure. Not history. That’s why I say I’m a triple minority; White, male, and conservative. We’re the only people in America today, you can lie about, talk shit about, and won’t nobody say nothin’. I mean, is anybody trying to get to Botswana or Peru to live. Ain’t nobody trying to migrate to China, India, Saudi Arabia or Pakistan. But they’re trying to get here, to the good ole U.S.A., by the millions. Sheeit! By the billions, if we’d let all the people who want to come here, come here. Ain’t no mystery why either. People vote with their feet, with their blood and sweat to get here, by any means necessary. So, when you’re talking shit about America or White people, or the millions of dead soldiers, almost all of them White men, like they’re racist and America’s a hellhole, you’re just talkin’ out your ass. Don’t get me wrong, people of all colors helped make America. But, if you leave the central role White, male, Christians played in that process, you’re not only wrong, you’re flat-out lying. You dig?
Rosencrantz: Uh….uh…..uh?
Guildenstern: I thought so.
Bust'a Crab