Why Does College Cost So Much?
Where does the sun rise?
In the east.
Where is the east?
That way. Question answered.
There’s just one problem. It isn’t true.
As the earth rotates around the sun, the position of the sun—relative to our field of vision, changes—creating the illusion that the sun rises and sets. It doesn’t. But it sure as hell looks like it does.
So much for common sense, based on observation alone. This applies to many things, economics, for instance, and politics, as well.
Here’s a good example. Why are college tuitions rising so fast? Greed is the most common answer. And, make no mistake, greed is a factor. It is, however, about as true as the rising and setting of the sun. So, for all you truth seekers out there, here’s what’s really happening. Uncle Sam, that most generous of uncles, underwrites and guarantees college tuitions, making low interest, easy to get loans available to all. Because education is good. Who would argue? How does our Uncle do this? By telling banks to lend to people, even if they’re not actually credit worthy. Because, as I said, education is good.
There’s just one problem, bankers aren’t stupid. At least, not when it comes to money. They know how to determine credit-worthiness. And, left to their own devices, they would only lend to credit worthy people. But, add Uncle Sam into the mix as a cosigner, and bankers are all too happy to lend, because they know that the tax payers are on the hook for the debt, should the borrower default. This makes the banks much more flexible in terms of lending. Why not. America is picking up the tab, just in case things go sideways.
Now, banks love this, as do colleges, because colleges are guaranteed to get all that tuition money, even if the borrower defaults. So, colleges furiously build new buildings and create new curricula where you can get a degree in subjects like “Black Lesbian Poets of the 19th Century.” Or, “Transgender Punk bands of the 1970s,” both of which are designed to get you a part time job at McDonalds, but you’ll have fifty thou in debt, so that’s something. All of this is intended to draw in all those would-be students, eager to learn. Whether you can get a job or not, doesn’t matter, these new programs still have costs, very high costs, in fact.
But that’s not all, one of the biggest driver of costs is the government’s new regulations, which are designed to manage it all, as in “Title 9.” On the surface Title 9 sounds great, offering legal wisdom to all would-be racists, “Hey, all you racists and homophobes and other similar bigots, no more discrimination on college campuses. You got that! And, in order to insure that you don’t discriminate, we’re going to demand that you hire a bunch of new diversity overseers, just in case some discrimination should happen. No matter how small, even really tiny micro aggressions and such. I mean, we’ll be there watching, through a whole bunch of costly diversity police, acting as our proxies.”
You see, it doesn’t matter if virtually all discrimination was done away with long ago on college campuses, because most of these kids nowadays are dumb as rocks. At least they are when it comes to history (or just about any other subject.) But once they get deep into the universities, various diversity studies programs, they’ll find every kind of discrimination imaginable (and then some.) And, with that, the new diversity police will get nice big paychecks, costly bureaucracy will grow like a virulent weed, and the price of college will go up and up.
“There’s always more money where that came from.” Say the banks, the colleges and Uncle Sam. Who, being a very wise uncle, understands just how the deep the pockets of the American people can be.
Furthermore, if colleges don’t comply with Uncle Sam’s new race hustling schemes….uh, I mean, diversity programs, they’ll lose money, lots of money, both in Federal dollars and, in costly fines. So comply they will. Because it’s just too damn profitable not to and too damned expensive if they don’t. As the result, tuitions rise like a helium-filled dirigible, colleges merrily celebrate as the taxpayer cash flows like wine, and a whole range of new jobs are created for race hustlers….uh….I mean, well-meaning, enlightened educators. Best of all, even if the debts grow as quick as a fungus under a wet rock, no problem, because Uncle Sam—who is really just all Americans—are footing the bill. In government-speak, this means “Be as financially reckless as you want.” Because you can’t lose. There are three hundred and sixteen million Americans out there, and collectively, they’ve got mighty deep pockets. All of which means, that the cost of college keeps going up, and up, and up.
And you thought America doesn’t have socialism? “Lol! ROFL! Damn! You is stupid!” Say the endless internet trolls.
The next step is simple. Politicians will blame greed for the rising tuitions. They’ll also blame the banks, the colleges, and just about everybody else, but never, themselves. To fix this problem they’ll suggest that Uncle Sam—the one who started it all in his attempt to insure that everybody should be educated (Because knowledge is good)—should take over the whole shebang. With that, you’ve gone from Fascism, to socialism, in one smooth move, while THE PEOPLE watched, bewildered by it all.
“What just happened?” THE PEOPLE ask. You got hoodwinked. You got bamboozled. That’s what happened, as brother Malcolm used to say.
“Yeah, it was those greedy banks. Yeah, that’s the ticket.” Uncle Sam offers in reply.
“Oh.” THE PEOPLE sheepishly respond. I guess Uncle Sam really is our bestest pal in the whole world. “
“Yea. That’s right. Your Uncle loves you. Now, say goodnight America.” Uncle Sam forcefully suggests.
“Goodnight America.” Say THE PEOPLE.
Mark Magula
In the east.
Where is the east?
That way. Question answered.
There’s just one problem. It isn’t true.
As the earth rotates around the sun, the position of the sun—relative to our field of vision, changes—creating the illusion that the sun rises and sets. It doesn’t. But it sure as hell looks like it does.
So much for common sense, based on observation alone. This applies to many things, economics, for instance, and politics, as well.
Here’s a good example. Why are college tuitions rising so fast? Greed is the most common answer. And, make no mistake, greed is a factor. It is, however, about as true as the rising and setting of the sun. So, for all you truth seekers out there, here’s what’s really happening. Uncle Sam, that most generous of uncles, underwrites and guarantees college tuitions, making low interest, easy to get loans available to all. Because education is good. Who would argue? How does our Uncle do this? By telling banks to lend to people, even if they’re not actually credit worthy. Because, as I said, education is good.
There’s just one problem, bankers aren’t stupid. At least, not when it comes to money. They know how to determine credit-worthiness. And, left to their own devices, they would only lend to credit worthy people. But, add Uncle Sam into the mix as a cosigner, and bankers are all too happy to lend, because they know that the tax payers are on the hook for the debt, should the borrower default. This makes the banks much more flexible in terms of lending. Why not. America is picking up the tab, just in case things go sideways.
Now, banks love this, as do colleges, because colleges are guaranteed to get all that tuition money, even if the borrower defaults. So, colleges furiously build new buildings and create new curricula where you can get a degree in subjects like “Black Lesbian Poets of the 19th Century.” Or, “Transgender Punk bands of the 1970s,” both of which are designed to get you a part time job at McDonalds, but you’ll have fifty thou in debt, so that’s something. All of this is intended to draw in all those would-be students, eager to learn. Whether you can get a job or not, doesn’t matter, these new programs still have costs, very high costs, in fact.
But that’s not all, one of the biggest driver of costs is the government’s new regulations, which are designed to manage it all, as in “Title 9.” On the surface Title 9 sounds great, offering legal wisdom to all would-be racists, “Hey, all you racists and homophobes and other similar bigots, no more discrimination on college campuses. You got that! And, in order to insure that you don’t discriminate, we’re going to demand that you hire a bunch of new diversity overseers, just in case some discrimination should happen. No matter how small, even really tiny micro aggressions and such. I mean, we’ll be there watching, through a whole bunch of costly diversity police, acting as our proxies.”
You see, it doesn’t matter if virtually all discrimination was done away with long ago on college campuses, because most of these kids nowadays are dumb as rocks. At least they are when it comes to history (or just about any other subject.) But once they get deep into the universities, various diversity studies programs, they’ll find every kind of discrimination imaginable (and then some.) And, with that, the new diversity police will get nice big paychecks, costly bureaucracy will grow like a virulent weed, and the price of college will go up and up.
“There’s always more money where that came from.” Say the banks, the colleges and Uncle Sam. Who, being a very wise uncle, understands just how the deep the pockets of the American people can be.
Furthermore, if colleges don’t comply with Uncle Sam’s new race hustling schemes….uh, I mean, diversity programs, they’ll lose money, lots of money, both in Federal dollars and, in costly fines. So comply they will. Because it’s just too damn profitable not to and too damned expensive if they don’t. As the result, tuitions rise like a helium-filled dirigible, colleges merrily celebrate as the taxpayer cash flows like wine, and a whole range of new jobs are created for race hustlers….uh….I mean, well-meaning, enlightened educators. Best of all, even if the debts grow as quick as a fungus under a wet rock, no problem, because Uncle Sam—who is really just all Americans—are footing the bill. In government-speak, this means “Be as financially reckless as you want.” Because you can’t lose. There are three hundred and sixteen million Americans out there, and collectively, they’ve got mighty deep pockets. All of which means, that the cost of college keeps going up, and up, and up.
And you thought America doesn’t have socialism? “Lol! ROFL! Damn! You is stupid!” Say the endless internet trolls.
The next step is simple. Politicians will blame greed for the rising tuitions. They’ll also blame the banks, the colleges, and just about everybody else, but never, themselves. To fix this problem they’ll suggest that Uncle Sam—the one who started it all in his attempt to insure that everybody should be educated (Because knowledge is good)—should take over the whole shebang. With that, you’ve gone from Fascism, to socialism, in one smooth move, while THE PEOPLE watched, bewildered by it all.
“What just happened?” THE PEOPLE ask. You got hoodwinked. You got bamboozled. That’s what happened, as brother Malcolm used to say.
“Yeah, it was those greedy banks. Yeah, that’s the ticket.” Uncle Sam offers in reply.
“Oh.” THE PEOPLE sheepishly respond. I guess Uncle Sam really is our bestest pal in the whole world. “
“Yea. That’s right. Your Uncle loves you. Now, say goodnight America.” Uncle Sam forcefully suggests.
“Goodnight America.” Say THE PEOPLE.
Mark Magula