When Life Imitates Satire
It appears we had one, maybe two terror attacks in London today. How much you wanna bet it wasn’t Lutherans? Let’s face it, they take the concept of grace pretty darned seriously, but they’re still unlikely candidates, I’d think.
Better start warning native Londoners not to jump the gun, and start attacking innocent Muslims. Those racist bastards! Just because a few more Muslims decided to slaughter as many people as possible, in the name of Allah, doesn’t mean Islam had anything to do with it.
This will be followed by a series of well-known dolts, whimpering on TV about how we need to just all get along! Talk shows will talk endlessly, asking “How can we stop this? What can it mean?” When somebody responds, stating what would be obvious to a blind mole-rat, living deep within the catacombs at the earth’s crust, it immediately results in much wailing and gnashing of teeth. This causes reporters to rend their flesh and don sackcloth and ashes, as they beg the godless universe for forgiveness, forcing at least two modestly well-know television personalities to have sexual reassignment surgery, as a sacramental penance for the sins of mankind.
As if that weren’t enough, a horde of college kids and their professors will burn down a church or two. Not as an act of vengeance, but in an effort to not offend Muslims, who might live near by.
Let me suggest, this is not satire. You can’t be satirical, when the world’s gone insane. All I do, is report it, like I see it.
John “The Regulator”
Better start warning native Londoners not to jump the gun, and start attacking innocent Muslims. Those racist bastards! Just because a few more Muslims decided to slaughter as many people as possible, in the name of Allah, doesn’t mean Islam had anything to do with it.
This will be followed by a series of well-known dolts, whimpering on TV about how we need to just all get along! Talk shows will talk endlessly, asking “How can we stop this? What can it mean?” When somebody responds, stating what would be obvious to a blind mole-rat, living deep within the catacombs at the earth’s crust, it immediately results in much wailing and gnashing of teeth. This causes reporters to rend their flesh and don sackcloth and ashes, as they beg the godless universe for forgiveness, forcing at least two modestly well-know television personalities to have sexual reassignment surgery, as a sacramental penance for the sins of mankind.
As if that weren’t enough, a horde of college kids and their professors will burn down a church or two. Not as an act of vengeance, but in an effort to not offend Muslims, who might live near by.
Let me suggest, this is not satire. You can’t be satirical, when the world’s gone insane. All I do, is report it, like I see it.
John “The Regulator”