The Vampire and The Carpet Salesman
“The Vampire and the Carpet Salesman.”
It was a dark night, which made it tuff to get around.
“Around what?”
Just a general getting around, is what I meant.
“Oh.”
Anyway. If I had the senses of a bat, it would've helped. It would've been even better if I’d waited till daylight. Trying to kill a vampire at night, was starting to seem like a bad Idea. A really bad Idea! But now, I was stuck in this old dark house. Or, would it have been better to call it a mansion? An old mansion with dust and cobwebs, with a huge spider, crawling silently up a web that was so big, you could’a housed a family of 12, maybe 13.
"Yeah! That’s it!"
Now, back to the drama, where Count Basil Dracmoore the 3rd was trying to move from Pennsylvania, where he lived secretly among the Pennsylvania Dutch, passing as uncle Joe the carpet salesman. The Dutch would say, “How’s the carpet business uncle Joe?” And Joe would laugh, but then he’d cry, because he was torn between the urge to kill and drink blood—or, being a kindly old uncle, who, just happened to be a vampire, but didn’t let his vampirism define him as a person.
His nemesis; The Ringo Kid, was fast on the draw. He once drew a full sized moose, in less than a minute, I mean, color and all!
Ringo had a sidekick named Fontaine. That was it! Only one name. “Fontaine!”
Fontaine was the best damned lounge singer in North Dakota, but was completely unknown in South Dakota. He’d hit an audience with a rendition of “Wolverton Mountain (the Nat Cole version, not the country one) and man, would people applaud! But he complained a lot about the cost of living, which was raging out of control, like a river unleashed, by a torrent of water, that fell from the sky like rain!
That’s when Count Basil Dracmoore the 3rd and Fontaine would reminisce;
“Try and remember, the time in September, and follow….follow….are you with me, following my line of logic to its obvious conclusion. We need to get outta here, quick! The villagers will be coming. How long do you think I can keep up my ruse as uncle Joe the carpet salesman? Eventually, they’ll find out I know zip about carpets! What then? The only logical conclusion will be to assume I’m a vampire!”
Bust’a Crab π
It was a dark night, which made it tuff to get around.
“Around what?”
Just a general getting around, is what I meant.
“Oh.”
Anyway. If I had the senses of a bat, it would've helped. It would've been even better if I’d waited till daylight. Trying to kill a vampire at night, was starting to seem like a bad Idea. A really bad Idea! But now, I was stuck in this old dark house. Or, would it have been better to call it a mansion? An old mansion with dust and cobwebs, with a huge spider, crawling silently up a web that was so big, you could’a housed a family of 12, maybe 13.
"Yeah! That’s it!"
Now, back to the drama, where Count Basil Dracmoore the 3rd was trying to move from Pennsylvania, where he lived secretly among the Pennsylvania Dutch, passing as uncle Joe the carpet salesman. The Dutch would say, “How’s the carpet business uncle Joe?” And Joe would laugh, but then he’d cry, because he was torn between the urge to kill and drink blood—or, being a kindly old uncle, who, just happened to be a vampire, but didn’t let his vampirism define him as a person.
His nemesis; The Ringo Kid, was fast on the draw. He once drew a full sized moose, in less than a minute, I mean, color and all!
Ringo had a sidekick named Fontaine. That was it! Only one name. “Fontaine!”
Fontaine was the best damned lounge singer in North Dakota, but was completely unknown in South Dakota. He’d hit an audience with a rendition of “Wolverton Mountain (the Nat Cole version, not the country one) and man, would people applaud! But he complained a lot about the cost of living, which was raging out of control, like a river unleashed, by a torrent of water, that fell from the sky like rain!
That’s when Count Basil Dracmoore the 3rd and Fontaine would reminisce;
“Try and remember, the time in September, and follow….follow….are you with me, following my line of logic to its obvious conclusion. We need to get outta here, quick! The villagers will be coming. How long do you think I can keep up my ruse as uncle Joe the carpet salesman? Eventually, they’ll find out I know zip about carpets! What then? The only logical conclusion will be to assume I’m a vampire!”
Bust’a Crab π