The Ballad of Trey Gowdy
The Ballad of Trey Gowdy
Trey "Howdy" Gowdy lit the room on fire, today, excoriating the Democrats like Van Helsing dealing with a cadre of low-level vampires. “Watch!” Watch as Trey lays out the facts, and I do not mean the false facts of those other guys (Can I still refer to guys as guys?)
The faithless opposition, however, says “No way! That’s FOX News! Who are evil. Plus, Trey Gowdy is a Republican. Put the two together, and that adds up to Satan! But then they realized that of all the Biblical figures, Satan was their favorite, along with Judas, whom they deeply admired as a role model for the Democratic Party’s future candidates. Pretty much the same way they admired every communist tyrant for the past century. Especially, Barack Obama. Who used to lust after Marxism like a child molester locked in the local Kindergarten. He even said this in his autobiography “The Satanic Bible,” I mean, “Lies My Absentee Father Told Me About Filthy, Rotten Capitalism.” (Admittedly, I paraphrased a bit, but I assure you, this was a more or less accurate translation of events.)
"But I digress."
The media will provide their own, heavily propagandist version of events, which will bare almost no resemblance to the facts. In an effort to persuade, they will pile on the swill with the force of Rocky Marciano launching the vicious right that realigned Jersey Joe Walcott’s jaw, so many moons ago. The difference being, that no Democrat is that masculine, which is a part of their bylaws:
“No man—or anyone who believes themselves to be a man—may legally have any more than a barely quantifiable amount of testosterone.”
"Anyway."
Politicians, being politicians, will carry on, each side seeking victory. And, should this lead to mutually assured destruction, that’s OK, just as long as our side wins.
From there, Jesus and Trump will begin their 1000-year millennial reign, where Satan and the Democrats are bound—captives in the dank underworld—enabling the rest of us to live in Peace, Prosperity, and The American Way.
Sincerely, Senior Wences
Trey "Howdy" Gowdy lit the room on fire, today, excoriating the Democrats like Van Helsing dealing with a cadre of low-level vampires. “Watch!” Watch as Trey lays out the facts, and I do not mean the false facts of those other guys (Can I still refer to guys as guys?)
The faithless opposition, however, says “No way! That’s FOX News! Who are evil. Plus, Trey Gowdy is a Republican. Put the two together, and that adds up to Satan! But then they realized that of all the Biblical figures, Satan was their favorite, along with Judas, whom they deeply admired as a role model for the Democratic Party’s future candidates. Pretty much the same way they admired every communist tyrant for the past century. Especially, Barack Obama. Who used to lust after Marxism like a child molester locked in the local Kindergarten. He even said this in his autobiography “The Satanic Bible,” I mean, “Lies My Absentee Father Told Me About Filthy, Rotten Capitalism.” (Admittedly, I paraphrased a bit, but I assure you, this was a more or less accurate translation of events.)
"But I digress."
The media will provide their own, heavily propagandist version of events, which will bare almost no resemblance to the facts. In an effort to persuade, they will pile on the swill with the force of Rocky Marciano launching the vicious right that realigned Jersey Joe Walcott’s jaw, so many moons ago. The difference being, that no Democrat is that masculine, which is a part of their bylaws:
“No man—or anyone who believes themselves to be a man—may legally have any more than a barely quantifiable amount of testosterone.”
"Anyway."
Politicians, being politicians, will carry on, each side seeking victory. And, should this lead to mutually assured destruction, that’s OK, just as long as our side wins.
From there, Jesus and Trump will begin their 1000-year millennial reign, where Satan and the Democrats are bound—captives in the dank underworld—enabling the rest of us to live in Peace, Prosperity, and The American Way.
Sincerely, Senior Wences