WEEKLY SOUTHERN ARTS
"Sometime the boogaloo 
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            "Riffing in Tongues" 

Picture
"Riffing in Tongues”

I sat in my prayer closet praying in tongues. When suddenly, I realized that I sounded like Satchmo scatting “Willie The Weeper” “Skee-bop-she-bop, rama-lama-ding-dong!” out came a blast of old-timey jazz riffs, deep from within my soul. At that moment I knew, as one knows, when they really know what’s happening, in this big blue world called America, what it all meant. All of it! Every last drop. So, in an effort to further my education, I continued my scatting soliloquy:  

“Squee-d’lee-deedlee-dee-wadda-wadda-hummina-fortingo-fruitbat-parakleet-doozaazz!”

Then, I waited for the interpretation…….and waited…..and waited. Finally, it came, but first, another volley of:

“Skwee-zappa-doo-dah-meca-leka-hinee-ho-zee-bap-aloola-beezle-snoot-wonderbra!”

Slowly its meaning was revealed. When interpreted correctly this translated, “For he who doeth good things, shall have success like nobody’s business.” I knew, immediately, that this was true, because it coincided with the thoughts in my head, thus proving that I was on the right track.

Now, some of you may be suspicious about my willingness to use my own thoughts to judge these truths, about the universe, that I was receiving. Let’s face it, the universe is really big, so I can understand your doubts.

“But, if not my own thoughts, whose thoughts should I trust?” I wondered. This forced me to unleash another barrage of supernatural gibberish:

“Vo-dee-oh-doh-geezle-snap-trombone-vegetables-hummina-fortingo!” ending with a sweeping “eezop-ginixle!” which was for good measure.

Sure enough, that settled it. Good fortune was soon to be mine! And soon, very soon, I would be 2nd in command, just behind Jesus….and maybe St. Paul, but that was it! Not even Moses was on the same plain….or was that “Plane?”

I guess another go-round of supernatural verbiage is necessary: “Bee-flop-canoe-shovel-walla-walla-ding-dong!”

And, with that, it all became clear.

But, just to be sure, “Dooh-wacka-dooh, quizinart-monkey-trousers-mobius-strip-weekie-weekie-snoo-bab….”

Malcolm X Y Chromosome III