Random Apocrypha
"The truth, whatever it may be, isn't you or me, listening to people who agree with us, saying things we agree with. If you're not willing to challenge your assumptions, you're not really searching for the truth. You're searching for validation." Elmer Snodgrass jr.
Random Apocrypha - by Ponchartrain "Osmosis" Johnson
If I said that Hillary Clinton was a sociopathic, lying sack of shit, the response wouldn't be to refute my claim, but argue why Donald Trump was an even a bigger, lying, sociopathic sack of shit. Few would argue that Hillary wasn't a lying, sociopathic sack of shit, because they know that even though she is a lying, sociopathic sack of shit, she’s their lying, sociopathic sack of shit. Leaving Americans caught between a rock and hard place, filled with lying sociopathic, sack of shit politicians.
"But, by all means, give government more power."
That’s the difference between enlightenment and darkness. One side recognizes the limitations of human nature. And the other, believes there are angels in the world. And, if only these angels had enough power, all would be good.
The one is thoroughly American. The other, is not. Not even close.
So, in summation; giving any human, no matter how enlightened they may be, something like absolute power, is to give a very sophisticated animal, absolute power. And, a hyena with a gun, is still a hyena, whether their name is Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump.
If I said that Hillary Clinton was a sociopathic, lying sack of shit, the response wouldn't be to refute my claim, but argue why Donald Trump was an even a bigger, lying, sociopathic sack of shit. Few would argue that Hillary wasn't a lying, sociopathic sack of shit, because they know that even though she is a lying, sociopathic sack of shit, she’s their lying, sociopathic sack of shit. Leaving Americans caught between a rock and hard place, filled with lying sociopathic, sack of shit politicians.
"But, by all means, give government more power."
That’s the difference between enlightenment and darkness. One side recognizes the limitations of human nature. And the other, believes there are angels in the world. And, if only these angels had enough power, all would be good.
The one is thoroughly American. The other, is not. Not even close.
So, in summation; giving any human, no matter how enlightened they may be, something like absolute power, is to give a very sophisticated animal, absolute power. And, a hyena with a gun, is still a hyena, whether their name is Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump.
Methane Gas From A Cow's Ass - by Otis Festrunk
Cows farts contribute more methane gas than all human emissions combined. Throw in the methane that comes from cow manure, and cows are a bovine source of global warming that makes humans look like pikers. What's science's take-back from all of this? Change the cows diet. That's right! Alter the eating habits of cows, which have evolved over trillions and trillions and billions and billions of years, plus billions more (give or take) just so a handful of politicians and their wealthy benefactors can control your behavior. Right down to how many pieces of toilet paper you use. And, understand something, that doesn't begin to deal with the massive amounts of carbon that is pumped into the atmosphere by oceans. Human's contribute a fraction of 1% of all earthly carbon output. That includes all the pollution created by smokestacks combined, over the history of the Industrial Revolution, till today. Does that mean we shouldn't change and clean up our act? No. But it does mean that governmental chicken littles, crying "The sky is falling," should be seen as alarmists, and the enemy of mankind. Now, clean up your act, and go green, up to a point, but don't destroy human prosperity while doing it.
Cows farts contribute more methane gas than all human emissions combined. Throw in the methane that comes from cow manure, and cows are a bovine source of global warming that makes humans look like pikers. What's science's take-back from all of this? Change the cows diet. That's right! Alter the eating habits of cows, which have evolved over trillions and trillions and billions and billions of years, plus billions more (give or take) just so a handful of politicians and their wealthy benefactors can control your behavior. Right down to how many pieces of toilet paper you use. And, understand something, that doesn't begin to deal with the massive amounts of carbon that is pumped into the atmosphere by oceans. Human's contribute a fraction of 1% of all earthly carbon output. That includes all the pollution created by smokestacks combined, over the history of the Industrial Revolution, till today. Does that mean we shouldn't change and clean up our act? No. But it does mean that governmental chicken littles, crying "The sky is falling," should be seen as alarmists, and the enemy of mankind. Now, clean up your act, and go green, up to a point, but don't destroy human prosperity while doing it.
The Secret History of Rock & Roll - by Eric Crapton
Little Richard was the greatest, raw rock and roll singer, ever! He sang like Elmore James had a gay son who played piano. This is not to say he was better than Elvis, Jerry Lee, Chubby Checker, Fats Domino, or even Fat’s’ second cousin on his dad’s side, Obese Parcheesi. Because he wasn't. Most people never heard of Obese, who’d co-opted his name to honor Fats and Chubby. But Fats already had the last name “Domino,” and Chubby had Checker, leaving Obese to seek his own game-themed last name, combined with a bovine-like first name. This is rock & roll’s secret history.
Little Richard was the greatest, raw rock and roll singer, ever! He sang like Elmore James had a gay son who played piano. This is not to say he was better than Elvis, Jerry Lee, Chubby Checker, Fats Domino, or even Fat’s’ second cousin on his dad’s side, Obese Parcheesi. Because he wasn't. Most people never heard of Obese, who’d co-opted his name to honor Fats and Chubby. But Fats already had the last name “Domino,” and Chubby had Checker, leaving Obese to seek his own game-themed last name, combined with a bovine-like first name. This is rock & roll’s secret history.
Liberal Madness! by Morris Fruitbat
I fully expect liberals to venerate Kathy Griffin as a saint. Now, if only she’d have sexual reassignment surgery and get a few abortions, she’d be a liberal god. But a secular one, because liberals and god, are like the Wolf-Man and silver.
High taxes are to prosperity, what dung is to a good appetizer, at a fine restaurant.
Businesses need to be regulated. If not, businessmen would starve babies and unleash poisons into the atmosphere. This does not apply to business women, of course. As to who would regulate the regulators, since deviousness is not solely the property of businessmen, we’d need regulators, to regulate the regulators, who would then have their own regulators, ad infinitum. This makes the chicken and the egg conundrum seem like basic multiplication!
I fully expect liberals to venerate Kathy Griffin as a saint. Now, if only she’d have sexual reassignment surgery and get a few abortions, she’d be a liberal god. But a secular one, because liberals and god, are like the Wolf-Man and silver.
High taxes are to prosperity, what dung is to a good appetizer, at a fine restaurant.
Businesses need to be regulated. If not, businessmen would starve babies and unleash poisons into the atmosphere. This does not apply to business women, of course. As to who would regulate the regulators, since deviousness is not solely the property of businessmen, we’d need regulators, to regulate the regulators, who would then have their own regulators, ad infinitum. This makes the chicken and the egg conundrum seem like basic multiplication!
Corn-beef Hash: "A Play In One Act" - by Dexter Mathorfan
As the man swam in the water, he was attacked by a large Muskellunge, a fresh water barracuda, if you will.
“If I will what?”
It’s an expression, not to be taken literally.
“What? The Muskellunge is mighty, like a barracuda! Or, maybe a “bear-a-cuda,” making it part bear part cuda?”
I see! Said the blind man, as he pulled out a sawed of shotgun and pulled the trigger. Unfortunately, he sawed off the wrong end, making the weapon useless.
“What now?”
I say we head on down to that old Greek restaurant, across from YMCA, and get us some corn-beef hash and eggs, plus toast...gotta have toast!
And then, it’s back to the watery depths, in search of the one the only Muskellunge, part bear, part cuda, all bad-ass.
So Biff and Shorty headed into the night, ready for the gig, but the mighty Muskellunge was never far away, from their thoughts, or their hearts.
“Bonesaw Messimee! Bonesaw!”
As the man swam in the water, he was attacked by a large Muskellunge, a fresh water barracuda, if you will.
“If I will what?”
It’s an expression, not to be taken literally.
“What? The Muskellunge is mighty, like a barracuda! Or, maybe a “bear-a-cuda,” making it part bear part cuda?”
I see! Said the blind man, as he pulled out a sawed of shotgun and pulled the trigger. Unfortunately, he sawed off the wrong end, making the weapon useless.
“What now?”
I say we head on down to that old Greek restaurant, across from YMCA, and get us some corn-beef hash and eggs, plus toast...gotta have toast!
And then, it’s back to the watery depths, in search of the one the only Muskellunge, part bear, part cuda, all bad-ass.
So Biff and Shorty headed into the night, ready for the gig, but the mighty Muskellunge was never far away, from their thoughts, or their hearts.
“Bonesaw Messimee! Bonesaw!”