How to Never Lose a Fight
How to Never Lose a Fight
The surest way to never lose a fight is to never pick a fight with someone bigger or stronger than you are. Avoid anyone with skills at all costs. If you do these things, you’ll probably come out on top.
On the other hand, you don’t want to be a bully either. This leaves only one option, make sure that if you have to do battle, you battle a straw man. That way you’ll always win and no one gets hurt.
Straw men are highly favored by political types. Here’s an example; let’s say you’re concerned about the rising cost of healthcare, but you don’t really know anything about actual healthcare. Rather than study, you can say something like “How about Sweden? They have free healthcare. So, why can’t we have free healthcare?”
This is what I call “Billy’s mom let’s him stay out all night! So, how come I can’t stay out all night?” form of argumentation, creating an impenetrable shield of something that’s sound like logic. But only to those who have no idea what logic is.
My friends, this is the ideal straw man. You see, a good straw man doesn’t have to be real, he just has to seem real enough to the uninitiated. Remember, their ignorance, is you ally.
By doing these few, simple things, you’ll have killed two birds with one stone—you’ve avoided an argument with people who know more than you do—and, you never have to admit you’re wrong, so your ego remains unscathed. Plus, as an added bonus, your standing within the community of straw men remains intact. And, believe me, you’re going to need that straw man again, and again, and again.
Such is the nature of ignorance. It’s also the nature of straw men. Let’s face it, it sure as hell beats reading a book, or two, or three, which can be very time consuming.
So, to sum it all up, whether you’re engaged in actual fisticuffs, or simply engaged in a good argument, choose your opponents appropriately. If you do that, you’ll always come out on top.
Sincerely – Biff Armstrong
The surest way to never lose a fight is to never pick a fight with someone bigger or stronger than you are. Avoid anyone with skills at all costs. If you do these things, you’ll probably come out on top.
On the other hand, you don’t want to be a bully either. This leaves only one option, make sure that if you have to do battle, you battle a straw man. That way you’ll always win and no one gets hurt.
Straw men are highly favored by political types. Here’s an example; let’s say you’re concerned about the rising cost of healthcare, but you don’t really know anything about actual healthcare. Rather than study, you can say something like “How about Sweden? They have free healthcare. So, why can’t we have free healthcare?”
This is what I call “Billy’s mom let’s him stay out all night! So, how come I can’t stay out all night?” form of argumentation, creating an impenetrable shield of something that’s sound like logic. But only to those who have no idea what logic is.
My friends, this is the ideal straw man. You see, a good straw man doesn’t have to be real, he just has to seem real enough to the uninitiated. Remember, their ignorance, is you ally.
By doing these few, simple things, you’ll have killed two birds with one stone—you’ve avoided an argument with people who know more than you do—and, you never have to admit you’re wrong, so your ego remains unscathed. Plus, as an added bonus, your standing within the community of straw men remains intact. And, believe me, you’re going to need that straw man again, and again, and again.
Such is the nature of ignorance. It’s also the nature of straw men. Let’s face it, it sure as hell beats reading a book, or two, or three, which can be very time consuming.
So, to sum it all up, whether you’re engaged in actual fisticuffs, or simply engaged in a good argument, choose your opponents appropriately. If you do that, you’ll always come out on top.
Sincerely – Biff Armstrong