Dear America: Now, about Trump....
Dear America: I‘m writing this to inform you that Donald Trump is really a secret democrat. Enclosed in this letter you’ll find a series of photos of Trump with Bill and Hillary, laughing and talking like the best of pals. And, I think it should be obvious, picture don’t lie. I just thought you might want to know. Why else would he spend tens of millions of dollars of his own money in an attempt to win the presidency, except he want’s Hillary to win. I think you can see the logic in this.
Or
Dear America: Donald Trump is really a rightwing fascist. Yes, I know that he’s lived and built a hugely successful business empire in the most liberal city in the U.S.A., maybe the world, but that was just a disguise. Sure, he’s been a friend to liberal politicians and said in the past that he identified as a liberal. That, however, was just an act. Secretly, when no one’s looking, he puts on a fake Hitler Mustache and parades around the house making Nazi salutes. Believe me, you can take my word for it. I just thought you might want to know.
Or
Dear America: Donald Trump can’t be trusted because he’s a billionaire, fat cat who’d sell his own mother for a dime. He says he’ll create jobs, but what kind of jobs? No. What America really needs is a man who’s never created a job, built a business and doesn’t know anything about economics as president. That’s why you should vote for Bernie Sanders. He’s never done anything. But, he says a lot things that sound good.
Or
Dear America: People say they’ll vote for Trump because he’s a wildly successful billionaire who’ll put America back to work again. I have it on good word, though, that Trump isn’t nearly as wealthy as he claims. Ten billion? Not hardly. Maybe four billion. And that’s at best. Probably, not even that. Did you know he’s had four bankruptcies? Sure, he’s had hundreds of successful business endeavors, but a loser is still a loser in my book. Plus, he never really made any money, he just inherited it from his daddy. So vote for Bernie Sanders. He’ll put America back to work again. And even if he doesn’t, you won’t have to worry because everything will be free.
Or
Dear America: Donald Trump is a member of Ku Klux Klan. Or so I’ve heard. He wants to make it illegal to come into this country illegally. Can you imagine that? I mean, he wants to throw small children and grandmas into prison just for wanting to be Americans. Do other countries behave that way? Uh….OK, they do behave that way? Ok. Maybe they do, but they shouldn’t. That’s my point. I mean, didn’t we steal this land from Native Americans who lived off the land in peace with nature. Huh…they killed and enslaved one another in bloody wars? They may have even engaged in cannibalism? Where’d you hear that from? A book I suppose? Well, here’s a meme. I think that says it all.
Coda: Yes, Trump is whatever people want him to be. He is savior, sinner, the hope of conservatives, a closet liberal, a fascist, a left-wing fanatic masquerading as, fill in the blank. Listen very closely to the rhetoric, though, and what you’ll hear is the ease with which whole sectors of society are reduced to stereotypes when it’s expedient. That isn’t racism, however, it is enlightenment. How do they know? Because they all agree. Who are they? They know who they are. Need I say more? I don’t think so.
Mark Magula
Or
Dear America: Donald Trump is really a rightwing fascist. Yes, I know that he’s lived and built a hugely successful business empire in the most liberal city in the U.S.A., maybe the world, but that was just a disguise. Sure, he’s been a friend to liberal politicians and said in the past that he identified as a liberal. That, however, was just an act. Secretly, when no one’s looking, he puts on a fake Hitler Mustache and parades around the house making Nazi salutes. Believe me, you can take my word for it. I just thought you might want to know.
Or
Dear America: Donald Trump can’t be trusted because he’s a billionaire, fat cat who’d sell his own mother for a dime. He says he’ll create jobs, but what kind of jobs? No. What America really needs is a man who’s never created a job, built a business and doesn’t know anything about economics as president. That’s why you should vote for Bernie Sanders. He’s never done anything. But, he says a lot things that sound good.
Or
Dear America: People say they’ll vote for Trump because he’s a wildly successful billionaire who’ll put America back to work again. I have it on good word, though, that Trump isn’t nearly as wealthy as he claims. Ten billion? Not hardly. Maybe four billion. And that’s at best. Probably, not even that. Did you know he’s had four bankruptcies? Sure, he’s had hundreds of successful business endeavors, but a loser is still a loser in my book. Plus, he never really made any money, he just inherited it from his daddy. So vote for Bernie Sanders. He’ll put America back to work again. And even if he doesn’t, you won’t have to worry because everything will be free.
Or
Dear America: Donald Trump is a member of Ku Klux Klan. Or so I’ve heard. He wants to make it illegal to come into this country illegally. Can you imagine that? I mean, he wants to throw small children and grandmas into prison just for wanting to be Americans. Do other countries behave that way? Uh….OK, they do behave that way? Ok. Maybe they do, but they shouldn’t. That’s my point. I mean, didn’t we steal this land from Native Americans who lived off the land in peace with nature. Huh…they killed and enslaved one another in bloody wars? They may have even engaged in cannibalism? Where’d you hear that from? A book I suppose? Well, here’s a meme. I think that says it all.
Coda: Yes, Trump is whatever people want him to be. He is savior, sinner, the hope of conservatives, a closet liberal, a fascist, a left-wing fanatic masquerading as, fill in the blank. Listen very closely to the rhetoric, though, and what you’ll hear is the ease with which whole sectors of society are reduced to stereotypes when it’s expedient. That isn’t racism, however, it is enlightenment. How do they know? Because they all agree. Who are they? They know who they are. Need I say more? I don’t think so.
Mark Magula
