Ant Farm
Ant Farm
The worker ants sat and waited for their latest ant-talking points to be handed down from high places, in order to know what to do:
“Go forth and disturb the peace of our enemies!” said the Boss Ants.
And, so they did. The worker ants went into restaurants, airports, and businesses and harassed their enemies in the name of justice. “Justice is whatever we say it is!” they’d shout, just as one might expect from worker ants. Mindless, soulless, worker ants. And they felt damned good about it, knowing in the way one knows when they know something.
“We must raise taxes!” said one worker ant. “Taxes are good!” said another. It didn’t matter if these worker ants didn’t know a thing about taxes. They knew what they’d been told, and that’s all that mattered.
This became the basis for “The Worker Ant Party.” Or, “THWAP,” for short. That was the sound made when they’d hit somebody upside the head. “THWAP!” So the worker ants would go about “Thwapping” people upside the head—mostly anyone they perceived to be an enemy and in need of a good “Thwapping.”
“We also need to have more worker ants from other colonies join our colony! Because you can never have enough worker ants.” proclaimed the worker ants. Even if there wasn’t enough work to do.
This created a surplus of worker ants, leaving many to become listless and purposeless, seeing there wasn’t enough work for these worker ants to do. But the slogan of “More Ants!” became a rallying cry anyway, even though they didn’t really know why. It sounded good, though. And, when they’d shout this new slogan really loud, a chemical would be released into their ant brains, making them feel good. “It feels good to feel good.” said the worker ants. This was proof that what they were shouting must be true. Because feelings can’t lie.
Eventually, there were so many ants, there wasn't enough food, or work, or ant-houses to go around. So, the Boss Ants had to find a way to get the worker ants to allow themselves to be eliminated, while still feeling good as they shouted slogans about why being eliminated was in an ant's best interest. This wasn't very hard since the worker ants were eager to be stupid for the good cause of doing away with themselves. “We’re so enlightened that we’re willing to destroy everything we hold dear. I mean, you can’t get much more enlightened than that.” they’d anxiously say.
Over time the worker ants recognized that nothing much was changing, except there were a lot more ants now, and a lot more ants with nothing to do, which made them angry about their plight, of being worker ants without work. But they kept disturbing the peace of their enemies anyway, even if they weren’t really sure why some ants were the enemy and other weren’t. They also recognized that higher taxes made them poorer, not richer. But they were soulless, mindless worker ants so these thoughts would drift thru their ant brains like a tepid breeze on a hellishly hot day.
What is the moral of this story? Should we expect worker ants to think differently?
More likely...we shouldn't expect them to think at all.
Mark Magula
The worker ants sat and waited for their latest ant-talking points to be handed down from high places, in order to know what to do:
“Go forth and disturb the peace of our enemies!” said the Boss Ants.
And, so they did. The worker ants went into restaurants, airports, and businesses and harassed their enemies in the name of justice. “Justice is whatever we say it is!” they’d shout, just as one might expect from worker ants. Mindless, soulless, worker ants. And they felt damned good about it, knowing in the way one knows when they know something.
“We must raise taxes!” said one worker ant. “Taxes are good!” said another. It didn’t matter if these worker ants didn’t know a thing about taxes. They knew what they’d been told, and that’s all that mattered.
This became the basis for “The Worker Ant Party.” Or, “THWAP,” for short. That was the sound made when they’d hit somebody upside the head. “THWAP!” So the worker ants would go about “Thwapping” people upside the head—mostly anyone they perceived to be an enemy and in need of a good “Thwapping.”
“We also need to have more worker ants from other colonies join our colony! Because you can never have enough worker ants.” proclaimed the worker ants. Even if there wasn’t enough work to do.
This created a surplus of worker ants, leaving many to become listless and purposeless, seeing there wasn’t enough work for these worker ants to do. But the slogan of “More Ants!” became a rallying cry anyway, even though they didn’t really know why. It sounded good, though. And, when they’d shout this new slogan really loud, a chemical would be released into their ant brains, making them feel good. “It feels good to feel good.” said the worker ants. This was proof that what they were shouting must be true. Because feelings can’t lie.
Eventually, there were so many ants, there wasn't enough food, or work, or ant-houses to go around. So, the Boss Ants had to find a way to get the worker ants to allow themselves to be eliminated, while still feeling good as they shouted slogans about why being eliminated was in an ant's best interest. This wasn't very hard since the worker ants were eager to be stupid for the good cause of doing away with themselves. “We’re so enlightened that we’re willing to destroy everything we hold dear. I mean, you can’t get much more enlightened than that.” they’d anxiously say.
Over time the worker ants recognized that nothing much was changing, except there were a lot more ants now, and a lot more ants with nothing to do, which made them angry about their plight, of being worker ants without work. But they kept disturbing the peace of their enemies anyway, even if they weren’t really sure why some ants were the enemy and other weren’t. They also recognized that higher taxes made them poorer, not richer. But they were soulless, mindless worker ants so these thoughts would drift thru their ant brains like a tepid breeze on a hellishly hot day.
What is the moral of this story? Should we expect worker ants to think differently?
More likely...we shouldn't expect them to think at all.
Mark Magula