America Wants a Third Party Candidate
People want a 3rd party candidate. “That’s right” they say. “No democrat or republican for us. We aren’t buying this two party illusion. We’re too smart for that. "The Man" is playing us for suckers, and we’re tired of it.” So, they go about looking frantically for a 3rd party substitute, an outsider who’ll give them back the America that they know and love. Or, the America that mostly exists in their heads. Take your pick.
Standing right over there, however, is Bernie Sanders. Bernie may be running as a democrat, but he’s really an out-of-the-closet socialist. Sanders is a 3rd party candidate running as mainstream party member. Of course, conservatives and libertarians have long known that a significant portion of the democratic party were really socialists, even though they seldom admit it. With Bernie, the charade is over. “That’s OK” say his followers, “Because socialism equals fairness. Just look at Sweden and Denmark.” Yes, for them, countries the size of New York City are a fine role model for the third most populous nation on earth. No matter how you look at it, though, Bernie is an outsider looking in.
On the other side of the aisle, there’s Ted Cruz, a man so hated by his own party that they would rather nominate a bear than give Cruz the reins of power. Even further out, is “The Donald.” Trump is so far outside the party's center that not even the gravitational pull of the sun is enough to keep him within the GOP's orbit. In which case they’d settle for Ted Cruz (unless they can get the bear.) But no such mammal has come forth to seize the day. “To bad” they say “A bear could have been just what the doctor ordered.” Of course, a bear is a Russians symbol, so maybe not.
No matter how you look at it, both parties are frantic about a Trump – Sanders battle for the highest office in the land. But that’s not good enough for some folks. They want a true 3rd party guy or gal, somebody with credentials so vague, they barely exist. Apparently, they want a party built solely on platitudes.
How about this for a 3rd party platform:
Henceforth, everyone will have a guaranteed income, but inflation will be outlawed. Meaning, that no matter how much money the government prints, our currency will retain its value. How? Because we say so. That’s how.
Henceforth, all people will have a warm place to live, with some reasonably attractive furnishings.
Henceforth, everyone will have plenty of food, but no one will be fat.
Henceforth, all people will be guaranteed self-worth and honor, as well as safety from bad thoughts.
Henceforth, no one will ever have a bad day. Because bad days will be illegal.
Henceforth, all religion will be banned, except the good ones, and everyone will agree theologically by mandate of the state. But don’t worry because the state loves you, as all abstract concepts and institutions do.
Henceforth, the rest, will be filled in at a later date.
Yes, if this all seems to good to be true, all you have to do look at these words, because words don’t lie. People lie. And, since I’m using words, it must be true. So, make sure you throw your vote away way on election day. That way, the powers that be will get so pissed, they’ll learn their lesson and change for the better. Because democracy works best when you don’t participate, or barely participate. That’s how you change things, through symbolic gestures and other meaningless acts of defiance.
Mark Magula
Standing right over there, however, is Bernie Sanders. Bernie may be running as a democrat, but he’s really an out-of-the-closet socialist. Sanders is a 3rd party candidate running as mainstream party member. Of course, conservatives and libertarians have long known that a significant portion of the democratic party were really socialists, even though they seldom admit it. With Bernie, the charade is over. “That’s OK” say his followers, “Because socialism equals fairness. Just look at Sweden and Denmark.” Yes, for them, countries the size of New York City are a fine role model for the third most populous nation on earth. No matter how you look at it, though, Bernie is an outsider looking in.
On the other side of the aisle, there’s Ted Cruz, a man so hated by his own party that they would rather nominate a bear than give Cruz the reins of power. Even further out, is “The Donald.” Trump is so far outside the party's center that not even the gravitational pull of the sun is enough to keep him within the GOP's orbit. In which case they’d settle for Ted Cruz (unless they can get the bear.) But no such mammal has come forth to seize the day. “To bad” they say “A bear could have been just what the doctor ordered.” Of course, a bear is a Russians symbol, so maybe not.
No matter how you look at it, both parties are frantic about a Trump – Sanders battle for the highest office in the land. But that’s not good enough for some folks. They want a true 3rd party guy or gal, somebody with credentials so vague, they barely exist. Apparently, they want a party built solely on platitudes.
How about this for a 3rd party platform:
Henceforth, everyone will have a guaranteed income, but inflation will be outlawed. Meaning, that no matter how much money the government prints, our currency will retain its value. How? Because we say so. That’s how.
Henceforth, all people will have a warm place to live, with some reasonably attractive furnishings.
Henceforth, everyone will have plenty of food, but no one will be fat.
Henceforth, all people will be guaranteed self-worth and honor, as well as safety from bad thoughts.
Henceforth, no one will ever have a bad day. Because bad days will be illegal.
Henceforth, all religion will be banned, except the good ones, and everyone will agree theologically by mandate of the state. But don’t worry because the state loves you, as all abstract concepts and institutions do.
Henceforth, the rest, will be filled in at a later date.
Yes, if this all seems to good to be true, all you have to do look at these words, because words don’t lie. People lie. And, since I’m using words, it must be true. So, make sure you throw your vote away way on election day. That way, the powers that be will get so pissed, they’ll learn their lesson and change for the better. Because democracy works best when you don’t participate, or barely participate. That’s how you change things, through symbolic gestures and other meaningless acts of defiance.
Mark Magula