A Message From The Democrats After The 2018 Midterms “A Message From The Democrats After The 2018 Midterms”“A Message From The Democrats After The 2018 Midterms”“A Message From The Democrats After The 2018 Midterms”“A Message From The Democrats After The 2018 Midterms”
“A Message From The Democrats After The 2018 Midterms”
“By God! Now that we’ve taken back the house, we will impeach Trump, raise taxes a trillion dollars, and allow more illegal….uh…undocumented immigrants into the country! These things will bring about prosperity and freedom. Plus more regulation. Lot’s more regulation! Because all businesses are evil and must be regulated by politicians. Who would never, ever, lie and cheat. Only businesses lie and cheat. Because they love profit. Unlike us politicians who love altruism.
This is how we got so damned rich.
I mean, look at Hillary and Bill Clinton. When they left The White House they were flat broke (In spite of trying to steal everything that wasn’t nailed down.) But, with Bill giving speeches to foreign countries for big cash, and Hillary as Secretary of State, promising a favorable outcome for any foreign government making a huge cash donation to The Clinton’s “Personal” Foundation, they were able to amass a net worth of a quarter of a billion dollars.
All...as the result of altruism.
Furthermore, we promise to prove that Trump was in cahoots with the Russians. Just like we proved that Judge Kavanaugh was a rapist, child molester, drunk. This will be done using uncorroborated sources. Which are the best kind of sources, since no evidence is required, thus proving the superiority of our judicial philosophy of “We can’t be wrong because we’re Democrats, you racist, homophobic, transphobic, Islamaphobic bastards!”
And, finally, “It is time for White supremacy to end!” The fact that the KKK and virtually every other would-be White supremacist organization is basically made up of a few hundred toothless stragglers is beside the point.
We need more organizations like “Black Lives Matter,” shouting patriotic slogans like “Pigs in the blanket, fry em’ like bacon!” This was clearly not about killing "The Pigs!"...uh...we mean police officers. It was more like professing a love for pork-based food products, cooked with a Cajun flair.
Yes! This is our promise to America!
“Praise be to Allah!”
Sincerely, The Democrats
Mark Magula
“By God! Now that we’ve taken back the house, we will impeach Trump, raise taxes a trillion dollars, and allow more illegal….uh…undocumented immigrants into the country! These things will bring about prosperity and freedom. Plus more regulation. Lot’s more regulation! Because all businesses are evil and must be regulated by politicians. Who would never, ever, lie and cheat. Only businesses lie and cheat. Because they love profit. Unlike us politicians who love altruism.
This is how we got so damned rich.
I mean, look at Hillary and Bill Clinton. When they left The White House they were flat broke (In spite of trying to steal everything that wasn’t nailed down.) But, with Bill giving speeches to foreign countries for big cash, and Hillary as Secretary of State, promising a favorable outcome for any foreign government making a huge cash donation to The Clinton’s “Personal” Foundation, they were able to amass a net worth of a quarter of a billion dollars.
All...as the result of altruism.
Furthermore, we promise to prove that Trump was in cahoots with the Russians. Just like we proved that Judge Kavanaugh was a rapist, child molester, drunk. This will be done using uncorroborated sources. Which are the best kind of sources, since no evidence is required, thus proving the superiority of our judicial philosophy of “We can’t be wrong because we’re Democrats, you racist, homophobic, transphobic, Islamaphobic bastards!”
And, finally, “It is time for White supremacy to end!” The fact that the KKK and virtually every other would-be White supremacist organization is basically made up of a few hundred toothless stragglers is beside the point.
We need more organizations like “Black Lives Matter,” shouting patriotic slogans like “Pigs in the blanket, fry em’ like bacon!” This was clearly not about killing "The Pigs!"...uh...we mean police officers. It was more like professing a love for pork-based food products, cooked with a Cajun flair.
Yes! This is our promise to America!
“Praise be to Allah!”
Sincerely, The Democrats
Mark Magula